Readwithkanaga (I'm new to this😜)

Thank you so much for stopping by my new blog. I can't believe that I actually opened my own blog! I've always wanted to create my own blog, but because of my poor English knowledge, I was a little bit unsure about it. But I have confidence that my English will improve day by day, and who knows... maybe in ten years, I will speak clearly and fluently like the one who's reading this🤭 hahaha (Wish for that)

Basically this isn't just going to be my online diary. This blog is mostly about sharing what I've learned and have been through so far. Actually, I love writing since I was small. But, when I get mad about writing, is... (This is a long story).

When I was 18, I had a very close friend of mine who back stabbed me. (I know it's the normal thing that's going to happen in our teenage years,🤣 and at that stage, we'd just know who they are and how loyal they are to us). Hmm, that's it!!! Back to the story, and you know what! I heard, exactly what he/she was talked about me. Funny right 😂. Since the conversation was on WhatsApp I got all the messages. So I was so frustrated that time, I don't have a job at that moment (because I was waiting for my college intake to join). Since I was so free and I don't know how to organize myself to be busy. So once I heard that I was completely broken💔, I don't have anyone to express my feelings at home. Everyone, except myself, was busy in my house. My younger sister was studying, and my older sisters were busy with their work, and my mom was busy with her new-born grandchild as a grandma. So, at that moment, I was goddamn alone. Often I was hoping to talk to them, but at the same time, I wasn't really able to share with them about it. I was so worried that they would take this as a concern or not. I've always been looking for someone who just listens to what I'm telling you. Yet I've always felt awkward talking to my friends and family members. It's kind of uncomfortable sometimes. So I started a notebook where I wrote everything I wanted to say to my grandma. As days keep passing, I started to feel uncomfortable and abnormal about myself. I didn't like the things I used to love, like listening to music, talking to a friend of mine, playing with my family, and so on. The last time I laughed, I couldn't remember. I couldn't remember the last time I laughed. And I mean, the belly-cramping, the nose-snorting kind of thing. Reading, drawing, playing games, and going for a walk didn't make me feel the way they used to. I've also felt useless, exhausted, hopeless, and anxious. I have been empty stomach for a whole day. Because I won't feel hungry. In the night, my overthinking is working incredibly hard. If I started thinking about a fruit seed, I'll worry about it until it becomes a large tree. So at night, I'm going to be so crazy. I'll cry cry cry until morning. Because of this, my bedtime has absolutely changed. I can't go to sleep at night. I'll start to cry for that incident after that they'll be lots of things still popped up in my mind then I'll continue to cry for another thing. I was worried about why I'm crying in the morning, too? (There really is no serious answer to that).

Then, since I couldn't control myself, I began to write down all my feelings✍️. Once, I started writing out my feelings that I felt a little relaxed. It was so relaxing. I love writing, so it feels good to do that. Why not a blog, then! I don't think a blog is only a blog for a few. It's also something where you get people to know who's able to learn and listen to what you're going to say and eventually grow up as a family that even cares for you. You don't know how people look or have never met before. It's a mad thing, but it feels amazing. I'm really happy that I finally opened a blog and can't wait to share a lot of things with you guys!!!❤️✨ My website/Blog is not 100% complete. I don't have a lot of blogging experience so I'm going to do my best to complete it as soon as possible. Once again, thank you for taking the time to read my blog. Well, this means a lot to me.😚❤️✨

*stay positive- train your mind to see the good in every situation*

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